September 12, 2020

find me in the river

I recently heard the song "Find Me in the River." I love the version from the "I Still Believe" movie soundtrack. I think it's so pretty. And I think it's an expression of humility, surrender, and trust in God. 

"Find me in the river
Find me on my knees
I've walked against the water
Now I'm waiting if you please
We've longed to see the roses
But never felt the thorns
And bought our pretty crowns
But never paid the price
Find me in the river
Find me there
Find me on my knees with my soul laid bare

Even though you're gone
And I'm cracked and dry
Find me in the river
I'm waiting here
Find me in the river
Find me on my knees
I've walked against the water
Now I'm waiting if you please
We didn't count on suffering
We didn't count on pain
But if there are blessings in the valley
Then in the river I will wait
Find me in the river
Find me there
Find me on my knees with my soul laid bare
Even though you're gone
And I'm…"

I have spent so much time "in the river" this summer, literally and spiritually, so this song has become an anthem. The river has been a place for me to “lay my soul out bare”—to heal, to surrender my will and my problems, to draw closer to a Heavenly Father who has created such beauty for us, and to feel peace. I feel my soul healing every time I go. 


Part of that healing has been the strength I get from the people I spend time with. 




Thank goodness for friends who are patient with me, understanding, and inspiring. I think we all help each other grow in different ways. 






These ladies actually went out with me just a few days before my big lung biopsy. Some of my worries and concerns were released on the river that night.




Look at this view at the end of our river run! I just took a big breath in when I saw this. God gives us so much peace in nature.


Not too long after that, a big group of us went to the river for an evening paddle. Each of these women are so unique. Yet each one has taught me or served me in a different way. Oh how we need each other! 




And they are fun.








Eric and I went out on the kayak on the most perfect there could be. The water was high and the weather was divine and so we spent 2 hours and ten minutes kayaking from water users to granite reef (about 10 miles).


How gorgeous was this spot that evening with all of the horses around!














We've been doing some hard work on our marriage and I'm grateful that because of that we get out and do things together that we love. 


How fun to be married to your best friend--someone I can talk to about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING as we paddle along.



A little self timer photo shoot to capture the peace of the evening.










The weather is starting to change and the flow of the river will be cut off soon. But it has been quite often, that you could find me in the river this year. It feeds my soul.