18th Anniversary

Eighteen years of friendship and love with the man who still gets me.

“What better way to say I love you than with a gift of a spatula?” ~UHF

(still in my top 3 of favorite movies)

Being the romantic that he is, he gave me spatulas.

Eric and I have such a beautiful relationship that I am proud of. Because we have fought for and worked for it. After a few years now of couples therapy and coaching, working on ourselves, and taking time for our relationship, it feels so good to be in the place that we are now. We have earned it. I understand now that marriages go through different seasons. I don’t think we should feel ashamed through any of them. Oh how we struggled surrounding my cancer treatments! I know it takes deliberate and consistent effort on our parts, a lot of turning to Christ, and a willingness to work. And keep working. I feel lucky that we both choose that.


And that we are surrounded by this crazy bunch (and those not pictured).

The day before our anniversary we got to take our kids to the Mesa Temple open house. This is where Eric and I were sealed and married and then later that Kyler and Kacin were sealed to us in. It was special to walk through it so close to our anniversary and remember where we started and who we were then and where we are today. 

The bond between siblings is just so special.

We made a quick stop at the new visitors center and found the Christus. It reminded me that as we keep Christ at the center of our lives and we draw closer to Him, we will actually strengthen the relationships within our marriage and family and grow closer together. I have seen in my life that the way to build a strong happy, marriage is drawing closer to Christ and getting His help and trying to emulate his attributes. That is what has made me the happiest anyways. And I've seen the difference when I don't do that.

  





We had a beautiful sunset to end the day. What a golden moment to appreciate on that special day.

charity

What got me through the most intense pain, confusion, and darkness of my life was the unconditional love of  someone close to me. I could heal because that person gave me the safe space to heal. He showed me the true meaning of charity. He showed me charity in action.

"Charity, or love, is the greatest principle in existence." -Joseph F. Smith

"Charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things...for charity never faileth...charity is the pure love of Christ." -Moroni 7:45-47

I never knew the magnitude and the deep importance of this principle until I NEEDED it. I didn't know I needed it. But without it I could've been swallowed up in darkness. 

But he was SO patient. I could talk things through over and over and over again. He was kind when I forgot. He helped me sort out truth. He gave me hope. He often even put my pain above his own. He has been all the things that charity is. 

And unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, charity does indeed suffer long. Like years long. There is no time limit on charity.

Charity is the gateway to hope.

Hope leads to faith.

FAITH HOPE and CHARITY bring you to CHRIST. 

Christ offers peace and joy greater than anything.

As I was thinking about these things I read something from Joseph F. Smith that talked about how too many times we are "selfish and narrow" but there is 'a breadth of feeling" as we reach out in charity. I loved that image to me that charity opens up the way for something greater, deeper, wider, more encompassing, and more expansive--a breadth of feeling. Selfishness is so narrow, confining, and limiting. 

I am finding that as I do the things that are hard to me, but kind and right and loving to someone else that my life and love is expanding, not diminishing. For I know that respecting and honoring all of God's children as God's children is helping me feel more connected and stronger. I just feel deeper. 

It is so difficult for me to show charity to some people. I don't know why.  I've been thinking about that. I guess I think that charity has human boundaries. While we don't judge, we don't enable. While we forgive, we do not need to set ourselves up to be hurt over and over again. We endure, but we take care of ourselves, too. Maybe charity looks different at different times and with different people and that's okay. How important it is to be guided by the spirit and to keep ourselves and our judgements in check!

Charity changes you as the giver and as the receiver.

"We may give without loving, but we cannot love without giving."-Bernard Meltzer

(Beautiful early morning hike!)