today and back then

I have thought about starting a number of blog posts since Christmas. But it’s so hard to muster up the energy and brain power to do it right now. Radiation is leaving me exhausted to the bones! But my goal has always been to post at least once a week. And for ten years now I’ve pretty much stuck to that. So even though all I want to do is close my eyes and sleep, here I am with two pictures.

One. 

I was looking for a Disneyland picture on my phone, and came across pictures from 2017. I had hair, eyelashes, and the tiniest little love in my arms. I miss those days.

Two. 

Eric and I took ATVs out on his birthday. Oh, how different life is today from 2017! Sure, in some ways I am the same person. But in so many more ways, I am different now. And I don’t just mean the lack of hair. Though that is a pretty big change that I struggle with a lot. Cancer changes you to your core in beautiful ways and some dark ways. But hopefully the dark ways will emerge beautiful with time. It is not easy right now, but I do have hope.