these days

I am addicted to netflix. Eric pointed out how many episodes (and therefore hours) of a certain show I watched yesterday. I used to relish the quiet and spend my down time studying or reading or creating. And I used to avoid the tv until after the kids went to bed. Probably because I knew this would happen. But I let myself watch a show during the day, and because of the convenience of my phone, it has turned into watching shows while I get ready, fold laundry, eat meals, cook dinner, and while I walk round the house cleaning up. I feel like I should say that I will show some self-control and put my phone down more often. But instead I'm just saying how life is right now. But if I'm still glued like this in a few weeks, I'll need an intervention. ;)

A few weeks ago, I had a day when I was not feeling well. Which just amplified my feelings of inadequacy, frustration, and overwhelmedness with everything going on. I threw myself on my bed holding in the tears. I started to pray and poured out my thoughts and feelings to my Heavenly Father. Time and time again, I know he hears and answers me. This time, when I ended my prayer, I looked over at my shelf. I thought about reaching for my phone, you know to check my email or scroll through facebook. But instead I decided to reach for the Ensign that was laying there. It was the general conference edition. I randomly opened up the magazine and read the address I opened to. It was President Uchtdorf's message entitled "He Will Place You on His Shoulders and Carry You Home". It was exactly what I needed in that moment. How could I ever doubt that there is a God who knows me, loves me, and helps me? And just like President Uchtdorf said, "His invitation is simple. 'Turn...to me.' 'Come unto me.' 'Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you.' " I came unto Him in prayer. I chose to reach for that Ensign. And he blessed me with the comfort, answer, and inspiration I needed.

Layla's preschool celebration is today. The boys get out of school next week. One more month until we move down to Arizona.  Life is speeding along.