Adoption Language

It takes away some of the awkwardness
when you know how to talk about adoption.

Say No To:                Say Yes To:
"real parents"             "birthparents"
"real siblings"             "biological siblings"
"give up"                    "adoption plan was made"
"adopted child"          "your (my) child"
"put up for                  "join the family"
adoption"
"not the real parents"   "adoptive parents"

Most people who adopt
are pretty open to answering some questions about it.
It's not rude to be curious or have questions,
but there are better ways to ask.
Once, I got the questions,
in front of the boys even,
"Why didn't the real parents want to keep them?
Didn't they love them?"
Not the best way to pose the question . . .
It's much better just to ask to hear about their adoption story.
Around here, we don't get offended
when people ask questions,
we know most people are well meaning,
but being aware of adoption language
can help a conversation feel positive.