AND

One day I pulled out a notebook and tried to write a poem. It was difficult to find words that connected what I was feeling and thinking, and that would make sense to someone else, too. I never finished the poem. However, I am so glad I tried. I gained appreciation for anyone who writes poetry. Especially good poetry. And appreciation for myself for trying something out of my comfort zone. We all start somewhere.

Mary Oliver makes it look so easy:

“The oaks shone
gaunt gold
on the lip
of the storm before
the wind rose,
the shapeless mouth
opened and began
its five-hour howl;
the lights
went out fast, branches
sidled over
the pitch of the roof, bounced
into the year
that grew black
within minutes, except
for the lightening - the landscape
bulging forth like a quick
lesson in creating, then
thudding away. Inside,
as always,
it was hard to tell
fear from excitement:
how sensual
the lightning’s
poured stroke! and still,
what a fire and a risk!
As always the body
wants to hide,
wants to flow toward it - strives
to balance while
fear shouts,
excitement shouts, back
and forth - each
bolt a burning river
tearing like escape through the dark
field of the other.”

Maybe next time I try writing poetry myself something  comprehensible will emerge. Maybe not.

I was talking to a friend about the word “AND.”

Most thinks are actually connected with an “and” and not a “but.” 

Mary Oliver understood that with the lightening.

Fear AND excitement.

want to hide AND want to flow

It is both.

Can I be ok with both?

I’m doing things in my life that are 

hard AND wonderful 

scary AND beautiful 

exciting AND overwhelming 

sad AND happy

broken AND strong

success AND failure

It is both.

I can be ok with both.