And Good Night

I have recently started
at least two posts
that will never be finished.
Why?
Because I wrote them at the point of
exhaustion.
When I really should've just
gone to take a nap,
but instead I freely penned
words
to release
feelings
about some crazy days.
And those words will not make sense to you
and will be misread
and they are not pleasant.

Some days just get ya,
don't they?
and you forget
that you wanted
yearned
asked
actively sought for
the opportunity and the blessing
of motherhood.

But for every bad day,
or bad moment,
there are a slew of good days,
and even more good moments.

Smiling eyes,
sneaking a few minutes
to yourself
to finish a book,
husbands that gladly take over dinner feedings
and diaper changes,
hearing which girls have a crush on Kacin,
a boy who claps,
a girl who laughs,
a hug in the morning,
a cuddle at night,
finally finishing some paperwork,
kids who tell you they love preschool
and that you are the best teacher ever,
a hot shower,
greetings at the bus stop,
holding hands,
a family song and prayer

And with all that
and more
I can lay my head down tonight
knowing that my to do list
did not get any shorter
but the moments
counted.