This little place on the internet is important to me. For almost twelve years now—twelve years!—I have documented, reflected, shared, explained, recorded, and written. All these years I have stuck to my goal of posting something at least once a week. The blog books I have created each year are the most cherished and read books by each of my kids. This place (ha, double meaning because I literally entitled my blog “This Place”) has helped me process my experiences, see the joy in motherhood and life, and focus on the good. It has helped me find meaning in the ordinary and the everyday as well as in the big life events and the challenges I have faced. It has helped me find my voice.
First and foremost, I write on this blog for me. I write what makes me happy and helps me get through. I would continue to write even if no other person ever read a thing. I also write for my kids. I want to hold their memories for them. I want to share my testimony and my learning with them. I want them to know how much I love being their mother and raising each one of them. I want them to know I see them—I see their individual beauty, their light, their struggles, and their strength.
But I want to also write for you. My experiences in life have already been many. I understand the day to day toll, exhaustion, yet thrill of raising a child with special needs. I understand much about autism. I understand the monthly rollercoaster and the heartache of infertility. I understand the love, the joy, and the challenges of adoption. I understand the foster care system with all of its good and bad, and the realities and pain of families torn apart because of addiction and trauma. I understand the intricacies of helping children in foster care cope and heal. I understand mental heath—the darkness of depression and the panic of anxiety. I understand pain and trauma when someone hurts or takes advantage of you. I understand breast cancer and the fear it brings and the ways it breaks you apart body, mind, and soul yet builds you into something stronger and deeper and helps you notice the beauty in all the world and the people around you. I understand the ups and downs, the pain, the joy, the wonder, the confusion, and the beauty of this world. While I still have so very much to learn and understand, I want to use my experiences and my voice for good.
It’s been on my mind for a really, really long time to make some changes here on this blog. Just to clean it up a bit and stuff like that. In the process, I settled on a new name for this blog—Brightly Living. A phrase that has been close to my heart for many years, since I was a teenager, is to “walk forward in the brightness of hope.” And that’s what I intend to do. I want to live my life in a way that seeks the good and the light and overcomes the difficult and the dark. I want to live a life of joy and growth. I want to go forward brightly living and learning.
(The blog will be a little messy this week as I finish making changes to the look and layout.)
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